Treat yourselves gently. Listen to your heart and have realistic expectations for yourself. You alone will know what you can do. Below is a brief checklist of options.
Shopping
- Give cash/gift certificates
- Shop online
- Ask for help
- Shop early
- Make your gifts
- Shop with a friend
- Exchange gifts at a later time
- Shop at off hours & bring a list
Decorations
- Modify them
- Ask for help
- Let others do it
- Have a special decoration for your child
- Light a candle in their honor
- Skip it
Cards
- Shorten your list
- Ask for help
- Include an update letter
- Skip it
Music
- Listen to their favorite songs
- Purchase new music
- Avoid the radio
- Dance to their favorite song
Gatherings
- Attend for a while
- Don’t attend
- Have others come to you
- Go to a new place
- Prepare the meal
- Ask others to cook
- Have food catered
- Buy baked goods
- Eat new foods
- Include their favorite dishes
- Don’t commit. Let them know that you will come if you can. But, make no promises.
Finding Moments of Peace at Holiday Times & Special Observances
- Go to an observance that is less crowded & more intimate.
- Don’t pressure yourself or allow others to determine what you do.
- Speak their name freely
- Say a toast or have a moment of silence at your gathering.
- Light a candle and place it at your child’s place setting.
- Place flowers in the center of your holiday table in their honor.
- Place a wreath, flowers etc. at their final resting spot or in a special location.
- Plant a tree in memory of your child.
- Volunteer to help others.
- Donate food and gifts to shelters.
- Share stories & memories with close friends and family.
- Create a small remembrance area for your child. Include some favorite photos, small items, etc.
- Donate to a charity in your child’s honor. Encourage your family and friends to give to do so, as well. This is a way for them to still feel like they are giving a gift to your child.
- Give small tokens that belonged to your child to those closest to them. (Small stuffed animals, trading cards, drawings, something with their handwriting on it, etc.)
- Cuddle up with those closest to you in peaceful silence or surround yourself with people who will allow you to cry without judgement.