Comments That Can Hurt

Please look at the list of phrases below. They are harmful to a grieving heart. Believe us, none of the people that said these things to us meant any harm.

• “You’re still young. You can have more children.”
• “Why don’t you just adopt now?”
• “Could something be wrong with your other child now, too?”
• “You need to stop showing how sad you are to your daughter. You are hurting her.”
• “I understand exactly what you are going through. I lost my mom, grandma, pet, etc.”
• “I didn’t come because it was just too hard for me.”
• “Be strong and don’t cry. You will make him sad in Heaven.”
• “God chose you because you are so strong.”
• “I just can’t….” (turning away from me in the store)
• “Was it something that you did, do you think? I am always so careful with my kids.”
• “I’m glad it’s not me because I’m not like you. I would be devastated.”
• “You need to snap out of it.”
• “I wanted to give you time and space. That’s why I didn’t call, write or visit.”
• “You’re still this sad?” (3 months after losing Josh)
• “I don’t talk about him because it will make you sad.”
• “You need to just be thankful for what you still have.”
• “At least you still have one child.”
• “You need to move on now.”
• “It could be worse…”
• “Great! Just because your child died, our holidays are ruined now, too.”
• “Did he choke on gum, do you think? What are you going to do with all of the money the community is giving to you?” (Outside church soon after losing Josh)
• “Your life is just too sad. I can’t be friends with you on social media anymore. It’s too hard for me.”
• “Let me tell you about my kids.” (While standing at Josh’s grave)
• “How could you do this to me? I can’t talk with you right now.” (The night Josh died)